Yarn Bombing – am I missing something?

Wool for yarn bombing

Yarn bombing – I just don’t get it.

I like a bit of crochet or knitting as much as the next person (maybe more than the average person), and I’ve been known to knock up some pretty nifty creations with a bit of wool – but to me Yarn Bombing is bringing the craft into disrepute.

Who wants to see trees, benches and bridges covered in knitted stockings? It’s unnatural and spoils the beauty all around us. If trees were meant to wear leg warmers then people would have been doing it for generations. If benches were meant to come wrapped in wool then they’d also come with blankets and cushions. Granted, some colourful rib might brighten up a drab corner for a day or so, but as soon as it rains (and rain it surely will) we’re left with soggy knitting draped randomly here and there. Not nice.

Yarn bombed tree
A tree wearing leg warmers (Image: Wirral Globe)

Once Yarn Bombing has been imposed who will be brave enough to remove it without being branded a killjoy? There’s no way I’m going near it without several layers of Marigolds on. Just imagine the creepy crawlies and germs that move in to the woollen haven. Yuk!

Our local celebrity the Beeman of Beeston was Yarn Bombed recently – and does he look happy about it? No he does not.

the beeman
The Beeman “Get these bloody things off me!”

The only Yarn Bombing I’ve ever appreciated was a tree in the grounds of Nottingham Trent University which was adorned with tiny woollen decorations hanging from the branches. Yes, I can appreciate the artistry of that, and it looked amazing. But like many art installations it was intended as a temporary spectacle and was removed after a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately most Yarn Bombing consists of a garish patchwork covering which gives the impression that all knitters and hookers (people who crochet – OK?) lack taste and sensitivity. I like my trees to look like trees, not like extras from ‘Fame’.

So, Yarn Bombers – what do you have to say for yourselves? Perhaps there is some great crafty secret that no-one has told me about yet, which makes Yarn Boming a good thing? If so, just get in touch and let me into the secret. Until then, please cease and desist. Instead why not gift your wooly creations to a living, breathing person? Or even your dog. Actually, on second thoughts please don’t be so cruel to your dog.

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